I feel like I need to keep updating this journal, keep some kind of record of all the things that go on here ... but the truth is, every time I find myself at the keyboard, I'm overwhelmed by the magnitude of what needs to be recorded. Furthermore, as I get deeper and deeper into this trench, I'm losing my perspective on what my life used to be. It's hard to describe things that happen here when I need to use the language of Amsterdam to describe them. And since this is a LiveJournal, and not a personal one, the content is designed to be for public consumption and thus must have some value to people other than me. So what do I say? I want to come home and visit. I don't know when I'll get a chance to. I want someone to visit me. I'm the only one here who hasn't had any friends visit. Suzi has people come in almost weekly, and Jim's had his weekend of friends. I feel dehydrated.
The details of the Ultimate trip remind me of how much I take for granted here now. The late nights at Bamboo or Boom, playing rounds of murder with local celebrities or exPats. The constant free alcohol and shitty food.
I'm going to Vondel Park to eat lunch in the sun with Colton and Suzi, two people very dear to me that no one back home knows at all. I'm buried up to my head. Colton leaves soon, in a month -- something I'm dreading, as he is one of the 2 people here that I've connected with.
How do you stay when there's only 1 person here you love, and at home there's 15?
This weekend, Sophie visits again, and next week I head to Brussels to see her art Expo. There's a costume party this weekend, 2,000 strong, and Brendan is hosting as Granville Waiters. I don't have a day off till Sunday. Laundry List.
I ate Febo for the first time in Enschede, after drinking enough to be unconcerned with what I was consuming. We all walked through 5 houses, connected and ancient, with rotating bars and 6 floors each.
There's nothing to complain about. So why do I feel so beat?