Yesterday, at the one-year-to-the-date moment where Why Aren't You Happy Yet was torn from us and turned into a show that no one wanted to perform, our producer and director took apart the opinions of Bite the Bullet and deconstructed it into a show that I hate. We are not Dutch People. We are, at best, wanna-be Nederlanders. And yet we are creating a show that tries to make us appear Dutch to reviewers. It seems as socially awkward as an all-Chinese Texas Rodeo.
Also, I am angry because I feel that one of the best things I've ever written, "Be Skeptical," (my anti-religious song) was torn to shreds yesterday. Overnight, our Director re-wrote the song. Completely. This happened after I had been retooling lyrics for almost 6 weeks. He wanted it to be "relevant." Apparently, no one who ever comes to our show is religious, so my opinions and jokes are invalid. Apparently it isn't enough to see the song picked out as a "favorite" on audience comment cards over and over again. It isn't enough to hear from multiple members of the staff and crew that it is their favorite moment in the show. No, the song is irrelevant.
So what is the song about now? The Palestine-Israeli conflict. Not only that, but the scene that preceded it has been thrown away, and now my character (by the director's admission - nonsensically) enters into another scene to sing this freak version of my tune.
We were given four things to focus on at the beginning of this process. We wanted the show to contain:
1. The personal opinions of the actors. 2. Examine the roll of the US in the world. 3. Deconstruct modern day Holland. 4. Examine the current "holy" cold war.
This was the content that we had to focus on during our "Artistic Revolution." Great. Well, you can toss number one out the window right now. There is nothing that we can say or do that will be an appealing opinion to the upper-management if it doesn't coincide with their own personal opinions. If the director or producer were personally anti-religious, then you bet that song would have been in the show. But they personally don't care, so I am forced not to care.
We have one sketch about number two. And one sketch about number four. As for number three - well, we have almost an entire act of Holland Content.
Be Skeptical (in its most recent draft, some 14 drafts away from where I began) is irrelevantly
The scene involved a confessional that had been taken over by a professor in a lab coat. Think Mary Poppins, but malicious. A girl starts to confess her sins and the professor sings this song with her.
Did God Talk to Moses? Probably Not Make Eve from a Rib? I doubt that a lot Do angels protect me wherever I go? No. ‘Cause it’s a fucking crazy idea.
Be Skeptical Be Skeptical Don’t be a religious receptacle If you believe anything 100% You’re intelligent as a Toaster.
There are Hundreds of Faiths and Thousands of Gods Can each one be true? Can you guess the odds? 50-50 or a million to one? It’s a big fat fucking zero
So feast or fast every single day But no one’s listening when you pray ‘Cause Christ Allah and Egypt’s Ra Are Probably all Bullshit
Be Skeptical Be Skeptical Make sure your facts are inspect able If you believe anything 100% You’re a donkey who’s had a stroke
Confessor: So religion is false? Professor: We’re just getting started Confessor: Superstition and Kharma? Professor: These are also retarded. Confessor: How bout true love? Professor: There’s that of course. But half of all marriages end in divorce.
Confessor: But my kids will be better off than me. Professor: They might turn out dickheads, there’s no guarantee. Confessor: With Nothing to Believe, the world is on the brink!! Professor: It’ll be ok ... if you think think think think think.
Be Skeptical Be Skeptical Don’t Believe the Spectacle For Christians and Muslims and if you’re a Jew For Lovers and Mothers and Scientists Too If you don’t think for yourself, here’s what we’d tell you! You’re a Moron. You’re a Stupid Fucking Moron.