The Delivery Job

Someday, I'll look back on this time with a hazy nostalgia. Until then, it sucks. I work two "jobs" in Los Angeles. One, which I've already posted about, involves transcribing reality television for dubbing scripts.

The other involves an even greater quieting of my pride. I work as a Internet Grocery Delivery Girl. For six-to-eight hours at a time, I drive around Los Angeles with a car full of expensive food and drinks, delivering to the very rich or very old. I live on tips. And though you may think that tipping is a given when dealing with the delivery industry, it is not. A surprising portion of people won't hand over a dollar after I've lugged three gallons of drinking-water up their stairs with an armful of cat-food and sandwiches tied to my elbows. Some of these people don't even say, "Thanks." They close their door, and go back to being awful in private.

Who the hell are these people? There doesn't seem to be a common thread between them. They can be old or young, rich or poor; they just weren't raised to tip or say thanks. I've even had a guy short-change me! Never in my life have I short-changed someone, and only once or twice have I refused to tip, and this was in response to service, not a life policy. I simply can't believe there are people who don't tip. But there are.

Now, in an effort to stave off suicide, I've framed my deliveries as a sort-of real life Kiki's Delivery Service; I'm not actually delivering, I'm method-reenacting. Like Rachel, who has mentioned "playing dress-up" to describe her detachment to her life as a teacher, I am removed from my actual identity as a delivery-girl, and am pretending instead. If I really believed that I had gone to Northwestern and studied so hard only to end up delivering groceries, I'm certain I'd have a breakdown and head off a bridge somewhere.

In other news, Josh Kushins' short starring Scott Speiser and Dan Oster premiered at channel101 last night. It's Superman and Bizzaro as Lenny and George, in Of Mice and Men. I'm stupidly proud of him, and hope that the series gets extended so that he can shoot his Incredible Hulk piece with Matt McKenna doing Streetcar Named Desire. For more info, check out, and see what I'm so obtusely talking about.

Los Angeles is cool and sunny, and I wish I had enough money to buy a slew of T-shirts, as well as a new battery for my laptop. That's life.