Valarie was leaning against the wall, with her girlfriend. It had been a long year.

Happy, lonely, and genuine, I walked up to them with a beer in my fist. “Man, it’s so good to see this, you know? You guys look really happy, and that’s really, sincerely awesome. I’ve never even seen a lesbian couple before. I mean, you know, close and personal. I just want you to know that it’s great.”

Two weeks later, Valerie had dumped her girlfriend and was coming after me. It should have been a sign.